The Forbidden Territory- A Parlour

Every thing comes at a cost, even personal grooming. And I’m not talking about the 2 grands that I’m tossing away for some hair trimming. Most of the Parlours demand you to be a certain way to be an acceptable salon-goer. It is like any place in the world, having its norms and its taboos.

The norm is to be a more than farigh woman who loves to chat and gossip about everything that comes under the sky and above the ground… aliens are very lucky only because they are out of the range of these women.They must religiously watch all Indian dramas and should be willing to take advices. No, I’m not talking about small talk. These are long sessions on hair, skin, nails, sex, pigmentation, stretchmarks, kids, tutors for the kids, how to keep boyfriend/husband faithful, how to deal with a Pakistani Saas, where to shop for shadi clothes and lingerie, cancer cure and where to hire a huntsman if needed! Yes, because your beautician/hairstylist is an expert at everything and is more than willing to enlighten you about it. Imagine the wise owl of Winnie the Pooh or Rafiki from Lion King is with you, what would you do other than to ask them everything, right?
Another thing that you need to love is Massages. Hair, arms, feet, neck, back, legs, boobs… oops that was only accidental! I’m not saying that they are perverts, no! Not in the least… it’s just that they are so habitual to touching women in all sorts of places because of the high demand for body waxes and body massages and the thousand other things women require on weekly/fortnightly basis, (believe me, for some women it is as often as getting a message package for their phones) that they forget that there may be some women who may not be ok with a lot of physical contact. And before you know it the excessive touching during only a “face and neck massage” has almost reached your lower abdomen. Yikes!
Do you like lovey dovey weeping Indian songs being played at a blaring, ear shattering, brain cells bursting level? Well now you do! Don’t get me wrong, I love my share of Bollywood tracks but turn the volume down to human ear hertz and melodramatic sad tracks. I thought I came here to rejuvenate instead of missing the boyfriend I don’t have and desiring to be married soon! Oh and speaking of that godforsaken event, if you’re above 18 and not married, behold the questions of “why not” and further advices on how your beauty can be enhanced to improve the chances of getting hitched.
If you’re fond of it all and have all the time in the world, walk in to a Pakistani parlour without any hesitation cause babe, you’ll belong… as for me, I’m the parlour taboo. I will sit here getting my hair dried, and ignoring my hairstylist telling me that I should start eating more and take care of my dark skin instead of being career oriented(I made the mistake of picking up an office call in front of her) and finish this article. And I’m done! Toodles!


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